Impasse Read online

  Impasse

  By

  Margaret Pargeter

  Contents

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  IMPASSE

  Five years after they had parted, Lee Moreau and Slade Western had met again—and Lee soon realised that all her old love for Slade had come back too. But now she was engaged to a nice kind Matt Leland. How could she hurt him by leaving him for a man who wasn't even offering her marriage?

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  by MARGARET PARGETER

  TOTAL SURRENDER

  Neale Curtis had taken an instant dislike to her boss, Lawton Baillie. Until she was forced to join him on his yacht, when her feelings began to change—but that was dangerous, because he had made it perfectly clear what he wanted, and it wasn't what she wanted…

  CAPTIVE OF FATE

  Brice claimed he would never trust Macy again. What chance, then, did their marriage have?

  MODEL OF DECEPTION

  Paula's objective in going to the Caribbean was to persuade Luke Armstrong to sell his island there. And everything it seemed was going according to plan until Luke turned the tables on her in a way she hadn't bargained for!

  First published in Great Britain 1985

  by Mills & Boon Limited

  © Margaret Pargeter 1985

  ISBN 0 263 75069 8

  CHAPTER ONE

  Lee Moreau clenched her hands in an effort to stop them from trembling. She wasn't particularly proud of her past, but she had had reason to hope, during the last few years, that it wouldn't catch up with her. In returning to the Thames Valley, she had known the risk she was taking, but after not hearing a thing from Slade Western for over five years, she had began to feel safe.

  Safe enough to get engaged to a man distantly related to him, who used to do a lot of legal work for him. Now, if her instincts served her right, the arrogant dark head in the car that had just shot past belonged to Slade and none other. She prayed she was wrong, because if it had been Slade all her plans for a quiet and contented future might come to nothing. When she was nineteen she had agreed to live with him for two years, but had left him after only six months. She hadn't seen him since and had no idea whether he had looked for her or not, or if he had known where she was. Surely, if he had come back after all this time, it couldn't be because he was seeking her out to collect the debt of time she owed him, or to prevent her from marrying one of his relations. The insatiable desire, or was it hatred, he had once felt for her, must surely have died by now.

  With numb fingers Lee packed her sketch pad away in her rucksack and slung it over her back before wheeling her motor-cycle from behind the clump of bushes out on to the road. After carefully adjusting her helmet over the thickness of her luxuriant red hair, she used the kick-starter roughly and when the engine roared into life, raced off as though the devil himself was pursuing her. She took corners too fast and dangerously, but she was suddenly desperate to get home. She tried to tell herself it was ridiculous not to feel safe any more. She had to be mistaken about Slade, she just had to! Without realising she was repeating this over and over again, she turned off the narrow country road on which she was travelling and sped down the bumpy drive to River Bend.

  It was nearly seven. She had intended getting back sooner. She must have stayed concealed in the woodland thicket, reduced to a state of shock, for longer than she'd thought. She only wished in her heart she could believe it when her common sense suggested she had been having hallucinations. The strange telepathy which had existed between Slade and herself couldn't possibly be working after all these years. It was because she had been jumpy ever since her engagement had been announced that she imagined every dark-haired man driving a fast car must be Slade. Even had he learned of her week-old engagement there was nothing he could do about it. He had no hold over her apart from a broken promise, a promise which had only been extracted in the first place by means of blackmail.

  Parking her bike in one of the garages, beside her small car, Lee stared at it blindly for a few moments before hurrying into the house. River Bend was really an old roadhouse which her grandfather had run as a restaurant. Since he died, Lee had continued to live there, as he had begged her to, but the restaurant had been closed even before this and she had never reopened it. Instead, she endeavoured to make a living from writing and illustrating children's books and filling the empty rooms with a few people whom she liked and trusted, who wanted somewhere quiet to live.

  The three people who occupied Lee's spare rooms now had been with her for almost four years. One was the girl who had helped her to take care of her grandfather during his last illness. Julia Brown had changed from hospital to private nursing, but wherever she was working, she and another nurse, Sandra Peel, who was her friend, preferred living here, rather than in more soulless digs in town. Lee's third guest, Nigel Blakey, was an electronics expert employed in the Western works in Reading. He was in love with Julia and Lee admired his dogged perseverance, for Julia seldom seemed aware of his existence. Sandra was more of an enigma. Lee suspected she was in love with someone, but she had become so withdrawn lately it was almost impossible to talk to her.

  It was Sandra whom Lee found in the kitchen, this evening, as she crossed the hall and hurried into it. She and her three boarders had a rather unusual arrangement that worked. Instead of her charging them so much a week, they shared all the bills and chores with her. She hadn't wanted to make money out of her friends, it was their company she valued more than anything. She could make enough from writing to live on, but River Bend, surrounded as it was by lonely fields and woods, was curiously isolated, especially in winter.

  Tonight it was Sandra's turn to cook dinner, and Lee sniffed appreciatively after apologising for being late. 'Something smells good!' she smiled.

  Sandra returned her smile rather stiffly. 'Hello there,' she replied. 'Did you have a good day?'

  'Yes—and no,' Lee answered absently. 'And you?'

  'So-so,' Sandra shrugged.

  For once, Lee was too absorbed with something else to notice Sandra's cool withdrawal. Still thinking of Slade, she asked without meaning to, 'Has anyone called or rung?'

  Sandra obviously thought Lee was thinking of her fiancé. 'Matt's coming to dinner, isn't he?' she remarked curtly. 'Why should he ring?'

  Because Sandra seemed puzzled by the apprehension she had failed to hide, Lee forced her taut muscles to relax and invented a hasty excuse. 'He's been so busy lately, I had a feeling he wouldn't turn up.'

  'Well, there's been nothing since I got in,' Sandra muttered morosely, 'and if you don't hurry, he'll be here before you've had time to change.'

  Lee nodded, yet hesitated a moment, wishing she could find the courage to ask what was wrong. Then, sighing helplessly, she continued on her way to her bedroom. Here she forgot about Sandra as she closed the door sharply and flung herself across her bed. The violent movement might have provided some release for her over-slender body, but none at all for her tortured mind. At last, fearing her head was about to burst, she turned on her back and lay staring at the ceiling, twisting her engagement ring nervously.

  She had tried to tell Matt about Slade, but he would never listen. Perhaps if she had mentioned Slade by name he might have, but she had never been able to bring herself to go as far as that. Looking back, she saw that her relationship with Slade had been so discreet that none but a few of Slade's most intimate friends, overseas, had ever known they were living together. Yet it was odd that Matt had never guessed, for in that distant sum
mer when, at eighteen, she had first come to live here, Slade had made no secret of his wish to possess her. He had frightened Lee in those days, with his proprietorial attitude, the way he had had of staring at her with eyes often savagely dark whenever he caught her looking at another man. But while she had feared him, she had been drawn to his way of life like a moth to a flame. And, like a moth, she had eventually got her wings singed.

  Matt, bless him, appeared to believe it impossible for any girl to reach the age of twenty-four and still be innocent.

  'I don't want to hear about your past, darling,' he had stopped her so often she had given up. 'I'm not inexperienced myself, and I've no wish to feel forced to reciprocate your confidences.'

  Dear Matt, he must be worth a dozen Slade Westerns! She hated to think she was betraying him even in her thoughts. It was because of this that she rose as hastily from her bed as she had flung herself across it and began preparing haphazardly for dinner. She had been so sure, after Slade, that she would never care for anyone again, yet Matt, with his warm companionship and gentle, undemanding kisses, had shown her that nothing was impossible. He had revived her faith in mankind, as well as herself, and eventually she had decided she was over Slade and agreed to marry him. Matt could give her a happy life and security. His income would never be in the same bracket as Slade's, with his companies spread all over the world and new ones springing up like mushrooms. But she didn't want diamonds and furs and the life-style that went with them any more. She wanted a settled home and a man willing to make the same commitment as herself to have one. She had changed, and if Slade was back and they did happen to meet she hoped he would realise it.

  A quick bath refreshed her and because it was late she wasted no time over the rest of her toilet. After pulling on a short, silky dress, she hurriedly brushed and combed her hair and didn't bother with make-up. Her skin was so pure and creamy she didn't really need any, but sometimes she wished nature hadn't been quite so generous regarding her colouring. Dark red hair was fairly ordinary, but hers seemed to gleam with silken lights, while her eyes, instead of being just an ordinary blue, were more of an intensely vivid violet. Slade had been fascinated by them; he used to say they changed colour according to the mood she was in.

  Swiftly Lee's dark winged brows drew together and her delicate little nostrils distended slightly above a full, soft mouth as she rebuked herself impatiently for continuing to think of him. Firmly she directed her thoughts towards her mother. Her mother had always said Lee looked like her with a bit of her French father thrown in. Lee had only been five when her father had been killed, and though she could vaguely remember talking to him, she had no recollection whatsoever as to what he had looked like. Neither could she recall what they had talked about, but she had always held it as proof of how close they had been that she was able to speak good French, while her mother had never mastered the language with anything like the same degree of fluency. Her mother had always poured scorn on her husband's relations and refused to let Lee have anything to do with them, but that hadn't stopped Lee from being curious about them. That was why, after she had fled from Slade in Paris, instead of returning to London she had gone south, intending to seek them out. Unfortunately her plans had come to nothing. En route for the Dordogne, she had met with an accident and when she had come round in a convent hospital, minus her memory, the nuns had mistaken her for one of their own countrywomen because of her fluent French. It hadn't been until she recovered her memory, several months later, that they had discovered the truth and allowed her to come home.

  A door banging in the distance made Lee suddenly aware of the devious path her thoughts had taken. She was glad to be brought back to reality, for she had had no intention of going over that period of her life again. Swiftly she left her room to join the others in the lounge, despairing that the sight of a man who merely reminded her of Slade could disturb her so much as to bring back the past, which was surely better forgotten!

  She found her three friends idly watching television.

  'Matt's late,' Julia greeted her, while Nigel, noticing the slight strain in her eyes, asked quietly if he could get her a sherry.

  Guiltily, Lee realised she had forgotten about Matt. 'He must have got held up,' she frowned, after thanking Nigel gratefully.

  Just then the phone rang. 'Shall I get it?' offered Sandra, jumping to her feet.

  'No, it must be Matt,' Lee replied quickly. 'I may as well go myself.'

  Sandra didn't sit down again but left the lounge with her. 'If it is Matt,' she said, 'tell him his favourite dinner will be ruined if he leaves it much longer.'

  Lee smiled at her sympathetically as she picked up the telephone in the hall. 'River Bend,' she said crisply.

  It was Matt, and when she enquired anxiously what was keeping him, he answered ruefully, 'I'm sorry, darling, I'm afraid I can't make it this evening. You won't have heard, but my cousin Slade's back and he wants to see me.'

  Shock raced through Lee like a thousand stampeding horses. It was a terrible blow that her former fears had not been unfounded. She wanted to scream in defiance against a remorseless fate, yet she knew she couldn't do a thing. That Matt claimed a closer relationship with Slade than actually existed, told her he was as impressed as most people by him. It wasn't, of course, something she hadn't been aware of. A faint anger stirred through the shock blanketing her brain, but she was relieved when Matt related her lengthening silence to disappointment.

  'I really am sorry, dear,' he repeated hastily, 'but it's not something I feel I should pass up. Slade's put a lot of work my way and I don't think we can afford to offend him.'

  'But, Matt,' she protested tautly, 'surely if you explained that you had a date with your fiancée? Does he,' she swallowed hard, 'know about us?'

  Matt laughed. 'Slade's always had a funny way of knowing everything that's going on. I'd be willing to bet he knows about us. If he doesn't I'm certainly going to tell him.'

  'You don't have to, do you?'

  'I feel I should,' Matt replied slowly, obviously wondering why she sounded distraught. 'He's family, after all.'

  Lee brushed back a curl from a brow surprisingly damp with perspiration. 'Not that close, surely!'

  Matt hesitated, clearly turning things over in his legal mind. 'You used to be friendly with him once, didn't you? Didn't you go to London with his mother or something…?'

  'Yes,' she broke in quickly, hoping to divert him, 'a long time ago.'

  Matt didn't seem to notice the hoarseness of her voice. 'Then you must realise he's not a man who would give me a second chance. He could have enough lined up to give us an excellent start in life, and if I refuse to see him, this evening, he might not want to see me again.'

  Lee's heart sank as she tensely considered Matt's warning. There would be no second chance for her, she knew that, if Slade learned that she was engaged to his cousin. If he still harboured thoughts of revenge, he wouldn't hesitate to destroy her engagement with all the ruthlessness he was capable of. 'Do we need his— patronage that much?' she whispered.

  'Darling,' Matt sighed, forever patient, 'if I hadn't had so much to do for my family, you know I'd have been in a different position.'

  'I understand, Matt,' she soothed automatically. Matt's parents had suffered a long period of ill-health. There had been private operations to pay for, and, on top of this, his mother had got badly in debt. Matt helped them, as that was the way he was made, but it had done nothing for his bank balance.

  'Will you call later?' she asked, not able to decide whether she wanted him to or not. He would naturally be full of Slade—how he looked, what he was doing, what he'd said, and she couldn't be sure she was ready for that yet.

  Matt settled her fears, giving temporary if not permanent relief. 'It might be foolish to say yes and then not turn up.'

  'I'll see you tomorrow, then,' she said quickly.

  'You can count on it,' he assured her lovingly.

  'Matt can't make it,' was all
the explanation she gave as she followed her friends into the kitchen for dinner. They usually ate in the kitchen as it was huge and contained a large table and saved heating the dining-room.

  'Business or personal?' asked Julia dryly, having her own opinion of Matt's family problems, which weren't exactly a well-kept secret.

  Surprisingly it was Sandra who sprang to his defence. 'Is it his fault that his parents expect too much of him? It's not really their fault either,' she rushed on. 'His father takes a lot of looking after and his mother gets tired out and does foolish things. All she needs is a firm hand.'

  Seeing how Sandra was almost glaring at Lee, even if Lee wasn't conscious of it, Julia intervened hastily, 'You can't expect Lee to risk alienating her future mother-in-law.'

  'I'm not suggesting she goes as far as that!' Sandra retorted hotly. 'Half Mrs Leland's troubles are simply a cry for help, and she's a nice woman, one couldn't be hard on her.'

  Lee, her thoughts certainly not with the Lelands, whatever their troubles, heard the argument passing to and fro over her head without being aware of its exact content. After the meal, when Julia stunned them all, including Nigel, by agreeing to go out with him, she retreated to her room and tried to catch up on a little writing.

  At ten, still facing a blank page, she gave up, yet she couldn't think of going to bed, the house seemed to be suffocating her. Quickly changing into a pair of jeans, she ran downstairs to find Sandra.

  'I'm going out on my bike for an hour,' she told the other girl, who had returned to the TV in the lounge. Impulsively she asked, as Sandra looked lonely, 'Why don't you come? We could find a Coke somewhere.'

  'No, thank you,' Sandra refused primly, as if she had never enjoyed riding pillion. 'Anyway,' she added more graciously, 'someone ought to stay here just in case Matt does turn up and he's hungry.'